The Pleasure Boy 21

The Pleasure Boy 21 (Life at University)

Note: Before getting started with this second part of my story, I must declare that the McGill which figures so prominently in the pages that follow bears no significant resemblance to the real McGill University which runs up the mountain from Sherbrooke Street in Montreal. My only excuse for appropriating that great school’s name was my Need for a prestigious, English-speaking university in this city as a setting and ‘playpen’ for my characters. Everything said here about that university and its history department should be read as fiction.

Dear reader: I am afraid to bore you now. Only part of my life at university was concerned with D/s or BDSM, the interest that I know we have in common. Unless you share at least a bit of my interest in history – or, at least, will make some effort in that direction – I’m afraid that what follows will just turn you off unless you skim or skip a lot of it. For my adult lIf really did come to centre around McGill’s History Department and around my relationship with Professor Natasha Sorkin (or Sorkina, in Russian) who was one of my most influential teachers there, and who, as time unfolded, became successfully my thesis advisor, my Mistress, my senior colleague and my wife. Having just been given the outline of the rest of my life, you can stop reading here. The first part of This book was the story of a boy’s transition to an admittedly peculiar adulthood. The second part is about that adult, his university education and his life. I pursued and enjoyed my geisho career as you will see. But I pursued a second, academic career at the same time.

I’m not sure how the word got out that I was putting myself through school as a geisho professional submissive. I suspect the leak came from some McGill student or faculty member who saw me, or perhaps used me, at Master Tom’s Dungeon. It doesn’t matter. The fact was that before the end of my freshman year, almost everyone I met at university already knew that much about me. Some were curious about it, and bold enough to ask. Some were surprised that I didn’t look especially wimpy, or act unnaturally deferential. Most, whatever they thought, just politely ignored my sexual tastes and my livelihood. I looked unexpectedly normal, and a few even said so to my face. But everyone Somehow knew that I was working as a geisho submissive to pay my way through school, and many wanted to know what it was like. I soon worked up a spiel to satisfy the simple curiosity that I encountered; but I also made a few friends whom I allowed to know more. I even played with some, and introduced a few to the Scene when there was chemistry to do so. I made no secret of my other life, but did not flaunt it either. I certainly made no effort to win new clients or converts. I kept my nose in my studies, and soon was seen by most people just as another nerdy guy, of no great interest to anyone. Which was just the way I wanted it.

Having described my program as a freshman in the last chapter, I need to say little more about it . Between schoolwork and geisho work, I had almost no leisure time, barely enough to keep up the few personal relationships that were important to me: with my parents, especially my mother, with Lisa whom I still considered as my Mistress (albeit on a very long leash), and with Mika (a fellow student, junior to me, at Mistress Lotte’s) who soon completed his appreciation, internal with Mistress Moniqe as I had, then, with language skills, went on to work for her full time escorting visiting diplomamats. Mika and I became close friends. The physical attraction between us remained and we made love occasionally, but both of us were getting plenty of sex on the job, and what we really needed from each other was the intimate friend. Mainly, what we did was meet for dinner and talk. He told me funny stories about his escort practice. I told him about my life at university and my work in Master Tom’s dungeon. Occasionally, we went back to his room, or mine, and got it on. What we really valued between us was the casual friend: no Dominance, no submission, no teaching relationship, and some friendly sex from time to time.

To my surprise, this period saw the beginning of a whole new relationship with my mother. She began to treat me as a colleague and confidente, talking about her mentoring service as it developed. Unlike Lisa or Lotte, she knew I had no stake in her game, and could listen with neutral mindset. More than her husband, she knew I would understand what she was doing, and would be interested to learn what I could from listening to her. So she talked to me about the issues raised by lifestyle D/s relationships and about her efforts to help couples deal with them. I listened, and asked questions, and learned a lot. It sounded like work that I could do, but had no great interest in doing. When I finished my schooling (still a long way off), I hoped to travel and see the world as the paid companion of someone like Nouri, who by now had found the sub he wanted, and was working as a free-lance journalist. But for now, it was delightful that my mother was treating me as an adult friend and colleague – no longer as a kid. I still tried to visit my parents every week or so, though this wasn’t always possible.

I also tried to take an Aikido class twice a week in the dojo at the McGill gym. It was taught by a math professor who must have been close to retirement age though you wouldn’t know it when you watched him move. When he demonstrated free style, with four or five senior students attacking him at the same time, it didn’t look like a fight – like he was doing anything to them. It looked like he was walking calmly in their midst, while They kept tripping over each other, trying to get at him. I hoped to be that good at his age some day, and continued to practice as often as I could.

Like most universeities, McGill had variety of clubs offering some sort of social life to its otherwise busy, academic population. For example, it had a folk dance club, a cooking club and a climbing club. It also had a BDSM club with Dominants and submissives and wannabees at varying levels of knowledge and experience; and when its leaders learned about a geisho submissive in the freshman class, they invited me to join and give a talk.

“What would interest your members?” I asked Evelyn, the tall lovely blonde who had looked up my phone number on the Guild’s database, and practically commanded me to meet her for coffee at a local Starbucks. “What should I talk about?”

“As a Geisho submissive,” she answered, “I would expect you’d have a lot to say about why submission is pleasant. I’m a Domme, and I’m curious myself about why men and women love to obey me, serve me and take punishment from me? How can humiliation and pain be pleasant? I love to use my power, and it seems only natural to me that I would. But what’s in it for the subs? What’s in it for you, when you submit? Apart from the fee, of course, since you’re a pro and submit for money?”

“Good question, Miss,” I answered her respectfully, lapsing automatically into the role. “I’ve thought a lot about that. I was trained as a professional sub and now make a living at it because teachers saw in me not just a willingness, but an active pleasure in obedience and submission.”

“Yes, Miss. I’ll prepare a talk. When and where do you want me to do it? And I’d like to join your group. How do I do that?”

“Come to our next meeting,” Evelyn said. “You can register then, and I’ll introduce you and put you on our email list. Then I’ll advertise your talk, and you can give it at our next meeting, a month later.”

“Very good, Miss. That will be fine.” We arranged some details and she got up, said goodbye and left. I stood up when she did, but then sat down again and thought it over. There was so much to sayAbout the erotics of power and submission. How to discuss it for interested BDSM begins?

Busy with other things, I left that question on hold for a few days – left it to simmer in the back of my mind while I worked my shifts at Master Tom’s and studied for an exam. But a few evenings later, I sat down at my desk and began to make some notes; and over the next few days, my talk took shape. Here were the main points as they occurred to me:

• Someone wise and powerful is taking care of me. The D/s quasi-parental relationship of care and authority on one side matched by clingy obedience has a neurophysiological background partly generally and temporarily conditioned, partly acquired as mindset in childhood, adolescence and young adulthood. Neither Dominant nor submissive needs to Know the origins of the mindset in his or her self, but should be aware of its sources in human biology.

• A submissive like me assures himself of care and protection by obeying and giving service to a Mistress or Master. In D/s and BDSM, gender is relatively uniform.

• We don’t have to be Dominant or submissive all the time. Many people use BDSM play quite casually – just for pleasure, and a vacation from their ordinary lives. Some people turn it into a life-style, and some (like me) train for it and make it a career. If such training interests you, get in touch with me. I’ll listen and try to help you.

• Whether as play or lifestyle or in ordinary life, outside the Scene entirely, we should be aware that masturbation is not just a matter of rubbing the cock or the cliporis. All self-stimulation is masturbatory; and, from that perspective, masturbation is a skill that we teach children to cope with solitude and boredom. Reading, writing, playing solitaire and batting a ball against a wall with a tennis racket are so many forms of masturbation. It is a major life-skill. Sexual masturbation is just one more kind.

• Unlike BDSM play, lifestyle D/sis a form of marital relationship (with or without legal marriage) in which the power issues are resolved up front by mutual agreement. I’m not in such a relationship right now. As a professional sub I just serve clients (skilled or wannabe masters or mistresses) for a fee, but I hope sometimes to be bound by contract to a Mistress whom I serve for love.

• Finally, the professional Dominant or submissive has been trained to understand the D/s relationship as such, and to take either side of it at will. One makes a living at it either by teaching the game, or else by complementing a client’s desire for control or for service and submission. As such, it is a skilled profession that requires a lot of training and practice. As I said before, for more information and some assistance, see me any time if that career attracts you.

I went to the next club meeting as Evelyn had suggested, and found her supervisoring two subs at the entrance desk. She welcomed me with a hug, then pointedme to one of her acting clerks who asked me a series of questions, filled in an e-form on his laptop, and took my membership fee. Now properly registered, she took me around introducing me to other club members. Several already knew who I was. Others were surprised that this new member of their club was both a professional sub and a full-time student. When Evelyn told people about my upcoming talk, they said they’d be sure to come.

I had expected to give my talk at a club meeting like that one, but Evelyn booked one of the university’s auditoriums, and advertised the event, so that I ended up speaking to a few hundred people – club members with their friends or family, and students and faculty who were just curious. I gave my talk, then answered questions for twenty minutes. Evelyn closed the evening by telling Everyone about the club and its munch-meetings, which they were welcome to attend for further information.

It went well – like a munch, except that only soft drinksand chips with cheese dip were served. Everyone knew about the Geisho Guild, of course, but some had not known that BDSM was one of its specialties, or that Guild-certified professionals existed. People asked me about the advantages of Guild certification, and I gave them our standard elevator speech about quality control, consumer protection and safety. I went home feeling happy that such a club existed at the university, and that I was now a prominent member with an instant social life.

Now a minor celebration on campus, I was smart enough to stay casual and unpretending. I answered truly when asked about myself, but also guarded my privacy and kept my head down as an ordinary, serious student. In the end, this was important when it came time to think about grad school. When I signed up for Natasha Sorkin’s course in Eurasian history, she already knew very well who I was.

This is the place to say a few words about human history – the interest which, at first, provoked my father’s opposition, and launched me on my geisho career. Today, in this hi-tech, rapidly changing world, it’s not a fashionable interest, which is a great goal because “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it,” as Santayana once said. Though history never repeats itself exactly, it can be seen to ‘rhyme,’ because human nature and human neediness have remained much as they evolved in the Pleistocene ecosystems, while the games we play are implicit features of human ecology and the logic of strategic interaction (whose study is a branch of mathematics itself). Although all the new knowledge and ingenious technology that have been gained in the last few hundred years, our politicians and bureaucrats continue to make the same old mistakes when they think they are being clever.

Growing up in Canada, educated in a North American school system, most of the history I learned began with the 17^th century fur trade, or with the voyages of Columbusat the earliest. In the United States, schoolbook history tends to begin with the Declaration if Independence in 1776, with scarcely a mention of the global events behind it. As I write, it’s now a big scandal there that some people want to teach the history of the slave trade as an important part of American history on both American continents.

Such self-interested parochalism disgusted me. Slavery was not Just the ‘Original Sin’ of an (often hypocritically) idealistic country. It was, and always has been, a practical result of labour economics under certain conditions – when a society needs a lot of cheap, relative labour, that can’t be done by a machine, but that no sentient, sensitive human would accept to do unless somehow compelled.

A good historian studies the past not to pass moral judgments, but to Understand the human species at its best and worst – how normal human beings have chosen and acted as we did – as brilliantly or generally as we sometimes did, or aswickedly and foolishly. He tries to imagine what he himself would have chosen and done, in each character’s situation.

When I encountered the field of ‘Big History,’ which seeks to tell a coherent story about the natural evolution of complexity in this universe – from the ‘Big Bang’ some 13 or 14 billion years ago to the present day on this one small planet – I fell in love with that approach. Ordinary history – the familiar history of human individuals, tribes and whole society – needs a context; and if you don’t believe in a Creator God (and I don’t) then the context provided by modern science is the best that we can do.

Genus Homo – all the animals like us – seem to have evolved from ‘Australopithecines’ (as they’ve been named) who branched off from genus Pan (that of the chimps and bonobos) about six million years ago. Our genus appeared about two million years ago – a new type of ape, brainy and adaptable enough to colonize the whole planet. Anatomically modern humans date only to about 250 thousand years ago. We believe that an innocent from that time, kidnapped from his family and brought up by an adoptive, modern family, would be indistinguishable from the people born today.

For most of those years, people still lived almost like animals, following the food supply as it moved around – either on the hoof (or paw or wing), or by ripening when it did. But we know They were already distinctly human animals because they developed increasingly sophisticated technologies for chipping stone tools, making and using fire, braiding fiber into thread for sewing, etc. Beginning only about 15 or 20 thousand years ago (to the best of our knowledge) a few tribes, in a few especially lush and desirable places, were able settle down, build permanent shelters against the snow and rain, and live there all year round. The catch was that those choice bits of real estate, and the advantages that accrued to this new ‘sedentist’ lifestyle had to be defended against random visitors and envious neighbors. The sedentists couldn’t just live in peace with their nomadic neighbors. They needed stockades, defendive ditches and arms. They needed an art of living in large, highly organized, defendable settlements. They needed political, economic and military institutions. They needed government, with Dominance and submission. In a word, they needed ‘civilization.’

With advancing technologies (starting with those of agriculture), along with the novel economic and political arrangements (starting with trade and commerce), the number of places that could support the sedentist lifestyle increased dramatically. Today, with the help of highly trained specialists in any number of fields, the vast majority of our planet’s human population (of close to eight billion people and rising) live in sedentist communities of various kinds. As a whole today, this planet supports a network of immense, complex cities, linked together by a network of satellites for global navigation and communications orbiting in space. Humans have visited the Moon and are currently planning a trip to Mars. Whatever the future may have in store for us, our species has come a very long way in an incredibly short time by geologic or biological standards.

What fascinates me – what even as a boy, I hoped to study and learn more about – is the story of ‘civilization’ as such: how we got from a paleolithic world of nomadic foraging with a few primitive settlements to the magnificent (if deeply fucked-up) world that we live in today. It’s a story that must include:

• the origins of the ancient civilizations of China and India and (far from least), the Mediterranean basin (including the Fertile Crescent and Egypt and ancient Greece and Rome);

• the crisis of ancient civilization leading to what Karl Jaspers called ‘the Axial age’ (in the first millionium BC), in which ideas of being human and ideas of the good human life seems to have altered;

• the emergence of the state as a locus of centralized control, and the perennial struggle (still visible today) between those who want less of such centralized control and those who want the same or even more of it;

• the division of the whole world among distinctive regions and civilizations which communicate and trade but also compete and war with one another.

• the fission of Mediterranean civilization among severalrival worldviews, (broadly between those of Judaism, Christianity, Islam and modern science);

• the revolution in knowledge and social organization which led to a re-colonization of the world by European peoples, and to everything that has happened since.

I became aware of this broad history while I was still in high school, and already knew enough to know that I wanted to learn much more. It was in that state of mind that I distressed my father when I announced my choice of a major subject in college. But at that time, my interest in history was still Eurocentric and ‘modern-centric.’ What I hoped to study was the historical background and context of the modern world. It was not until the middle of my second year at McGill that the focus of my interest changed, from the question of ‘modernity’ to that of ‘civilization’ as such.