What Now?

I finally realized that I was strong enough to leave an abusive husband that I was pretty strong.

But during our marriage, he showed me a lot of videos of women being tied up and being used and I have to say that it was pretty exciting to watch. All I know is that I didn’t want my husband to do that to me. There is a difference between wanting to be tied up and used than getting beaten so bad you had to Take vacation at work until the bruises heal. Because they were on my face. I had to do what I needed to do.

As I watched my ex move out of our home, I thought about what I was going to do with my life. That brought me back to those videos that I should have not been excited to watch. Why was I excited to watch them? What was wrong with me?

Way back when Yahoo messenger had a room for alternative sex. I didn’t even know what that means. I ended up talking to this guy who realized I had no experience and said that he would help me to be a sub. I had to learn what that mean because I was primarily looking for sex.

We talked for a few weeks before I had to go out to visit my sister and needed to fly out. He told me to come early. Have a few drinks at the bar, and then meet up with him. I told him the terminal and what I would be wearing and he shared his attire details.

I got to the airport and checked in my bag and went to the bar. At the moment, I had a flight or fight instinct because I tend to not trust people. But he said he really wanted to make me orgasm whether I wanted it or not. At the time, I have never heard of this. But he said, if I make you cum, you got to fuck me. He said he would wear a condom and it wouldn’t be in the ass.

It was out of my nature, to meet a strange man who wants to make me cum and just wants to fuck me. I had one drink, and thought I couldn’t do it. Then I had another… still couldn’t do it. The third drink was the charm. I noticed that my body started responding to what could be coming up. I assumed I would be naked with a strange licking my cunt and sucking on my clip.

I walked (or stumbled) outside to find a 1970s like van. There were two guys in the front and he was in the back. My brain said, “Don’t do it”, but my drunk libido said “Have some fun.” These guys were strangers and I never did anything like that before. I know it is because of the booze that I drank but it was a turning point for me.

He opened the back door of the van and I saw the bed. It freaked me out a bit but the thought of orgasms made me think of fun and not what I agreed to do. But I was greeted nicely and asked to take my clothes off. He commented on that my cunt was wet. I was embarrassed but dealt with it. He instructed me to lie down and he put my arms and legs into cuffs and then spread me wide. I don’t even know if I agreed to this but I didn’t have a choice at the moment.

He said “are you ready?” as he closed the door. But I thought a few orgasms and then get fucked. I onlyhad 2 hours before my flight left. So, he went right into my cunt and clip and an orgasm quickly built within a few minutes. After I came, he said, “We are going to take more from you. For the first time, I heard “we””. Then I realized, that I trust people too fast and believe what they say.

This van, had hooks on the inside on the wall in it, so that when I was flipped over, I was unable to move much but my holes were available. The guys from the front open the door to the back and my mouth is totally available. I immediately start to cry. He said that I was pretty stupid to agree to this. Yeah, he was right, I just trusted people (stupid me).

I realize that I let some strange eat me out so when the other two did it, I rationalized it as “I said I would meet him”. I felt hands all over my body and rubbing my clip while pulling on my nipples, it was overwhelming. But when I felt myself being opened up more than I ever thought possible, he said “you like being fisted?” I amsure they could hear me whimper as I felt an arm being removed and some horrible clamps placed on my nipples.

I tried to say stop. Please take them off but no one cared. They commented on how my cunt grow wetter so why take them off?

I was faced towards the front of the van so I could not see anything that was going to happen to me. Then the headphones were put on me with blaring some horrible rock music. Now, I could not hear what was going to happen to me. He lifted one side of the headphone and said “my, I have never met someone so stupid”.

I don’t even know if it was just the two guys from the front or more because I seemed to have lost myself. I had no sense of time and place. This wasn’t subspace, this was a place of disassociation. I just let things happen to me. It was like I was watching what was happening to me on tv or something but I couldn’t see anyway!

This was my first time for anal, well other than that drunken time with my ex. It was extremelypainful but once I relaxed, I was able to deal with it. It was weird feeling but I didn’t like how my body reacted. Why was I so wet that it was running down my leg? Why were my nipples so hard?

During this time, I learned to hate myself for what I agreed to and what was happening to me. It was also my first time being dual penetrated. Why was my cunt so wet? Why was I able to cum?

I took 5 different cocks in both holes so things did not add up to me. Man, I really was that stupid. I just wanted to have some fun with one guy and it didn’t turn out that way.

They untied me and I had about 20 minutes to make my flight. I got dressed and noticed that my clip was so hard and it unnerved me with why my body reacted like this.

The guy I agreed to meet up with said, before I go, I need to swallow his load. Another new one for me. He fucked my mouth so hard, even sliding down my throat while I gagged. He came in my mouth and I tasted it for the entire trip.