It was getting dark. The wind howled like a wild animal. A spattering of rain made me shiver. I really didn’t care. I kept walking. I had no idea where I was heading.
I remember the final few minutes of my last so called ‘relationship’ a year ago. Donna had slapped him. He looked at me and then walked out. “Be gone when I get back, or I’ll call the police.” The pussy didn’t even slam the door. “FUCK YOU!” I screamed. I had been raging all evening, but nothing I said or did got him. I just couldn’t get the mamma’s boy to respond to me. It didn’t matter, Donna didn’t love him anyway
There had been no traffic of any kind as I walked on the shoulder of the empty road. My own little piece of crap car had died. I don’t know what was wrong with it and didn’t care. I left my ID, purse, and everything I owned in that car. I didn’t even take a jacket. I walked along shivering. I had no clue where I was going and I didn’t care.
I am tired of me. I am a bad person. I hurt people trying to make Donna happy. I deserve to be hurt too, but nobody was strong enough. Now, I just want to die.
I don’t want to be Donna anymore
It was nearly dark when the headlights appeared behind me. I thought for a moment about hiding but that required effort, besides there was nothing but small scratchy brush as far as I could see. I moved closer to the edge of the road. Maybe the tired driver would drift into me, solving the curse that was Donna. No such luck. The sedan slowed and followed me for a moment, then pulled next to me and stopped. Inside was a handsome man smiling at me with a look of great concern on his face.
“Are you okay, Miss?” He asked. I shook my head ‘no’. “Can I give you a ride – there is a gas station about three or four miles up the road near the freeway….” I looked at him and nodded. So nice, so friendly; there is never a good serial killer around when you need one. Donna smiled sweetly and Iclimbed in his warm car.
“Is that your car back there a couple of miles?” I glanced at the weakling and nodded. I sat looking out the side window as he got the car moving. He was such a careful driver, just like a man I dated a few years ago.
He had told me I was ‘nuts’ and called me a crazy bitch because I wanted him to spank me and slap me around a little during sex. I thought that I loved him. I just wanted him to take charge and be ‘manly’ about it. Donna wanted some danger and excitement to prove that he cared about me and my needs. Instead he taught me that I was alone and my needs were not important. Donna was humiliated. The night before I left him, Donna got his pistol from where he hid it. Donna stared down the barrel for a long time, but I was too weak to end the mess that we are
I looked in the window and stared at the reflection of the handsome man driving us along. There… I saw him glance my way as though afraid of being caught looking atme – so weak. I am pretty and the seat belt is pulled tightly between my breasts. My nipples are still hard from the cold. They press out thru my t-shirt but He is afraid to be caught looking at me. Why couldn’t it have been a pack of vicious wolves that found me?
He reached down as though he had dropped something. I ignore him. Suddenly the car slows and starts to pull over. I turn my head to look at him – and suddenly a white cloth is being held over my face. The clothes smells sweet and he now has a second hand on the back of my head holding me from pulling away. I look at him and breathe deeply; perhaps Donna has found the serial killer I prayed for.
I feel nauseous and dizzy. I am cold. I am on my side someplace hard. I lie still until the dizzy passes and then open my eyes. My killer is looking at me. He grabs me and puts me on my knees. My wrists and ankles are tied; I see that I am naked. I don’t care. I look directly at him and pull my shoulders back lifting my breasts. Donna is not afraid. I am surprised that the handsome man does not look away.
“So, what are you going to do with me? Are you going to rape and kill me?” I sigh hoping that he will just hurt me badly and kill me. His eyes burn into me – I swear I can feel them.
“Yes.” It is all he says and I can feel his power. I feel something – Donna has felt nothing for a long time. It is fear. I take a slow breath and look him in the eyes.
“Please Sir, I wish you wouldn’t…”
“The rape or the killing part?” It is a question I haven’t thought of. I consider how horrible rape must be. I just want to die.
“I guess… the rape part, sir…”
“You are quite an attractive creation… I am planning to rap you to death.” His answer scares me deeply. I am completely surprised by that feeling – I have felt nothing for so long. I consider his plan, if he wants to enjoy Donna’s beauty before taking my life away; it is the least I can pay him. Strangely, Donna feels excitinged by the idea of being out of control before I die. I look up and speak as calmly as I can. My belly is suddenly filled with butterflies.
“Okay. I agree sir,” He looks at me oddly. Is this not what he wants? Suddenly the calm handsome man swells with power.
“You think I won’t? Do you think you’re the first cunt to knee in this room and try to manipulate me? You are not!” He strikes me with the back of his hand. He is so fast I cannot even flinch. I slam sideways into the floor, my face stinging. I taste blood. My heart is pounding and Donna suddenly want more. I am deliciously terrified of him and sexually excited at the same time. I am ashamed of that reaction and overwhelmed by the flood of emotions that is washing thru Donna.
He hauls me Unceremiously towards a contraction of wood and metal. He lifts my body like its nothing and bends me over it. Donna is trembling and excited at his strength. He unties me and reties me to the device with practiced hands. I amNow bent over with my legs widely spread. My torso rests on a padded surface that has cutouts to allow my breast’s to hang down. I realize that he needs do little to have his way with me. Donna is suddenly frustrated beyond belief. I am drowning in my emotions and needs.
My heart is pounding – I can hear it in my ears – and I know what Donna needs, but this stranger that has tied me up and will kill me soon. His fingers are suddenly probing my vagina. I am surprised that my bottom is so wet. I know what I need from him. I want him to punish me for everything Donna has done and thought.
I deserve to suffer, daddy..
“Please, sir… please hit me again.” I hear Donna beg. He squats in front of me and looks in my face. “Please sir. Hit me. Make it rough…hurt me.”
“Are you trying to ruin our relationship? What makes you think that is how I get my rocks off? Maybe I like killing and dismembering my toys.” But I suddenly knew that he needed to hurt and play with women. He was sent to me to answer my hopes and sick prayers.
“No sir. I think like to play with your toys. Please play hard with me, Sir. I deserve it.”
There is a funny look in his eyes and then he slaps me. I remember my head snapping to the side. He slaps my head the other way. It stings and hurts but I need it. I feel lost and sad. I feel the hate for Donna welling up and I am suddenly crying.
Donna is a sick stupid bitch, I tell her. You deserve to be hurt and she needs to die.
The hand keeps hitting me back and forth. I lose count of how many times. I never counted. I can’t see thru the flow of tears water. The feelings of sadness and pain blend into a blur. I am lost in my misery when suddenly I feel a sharp pain from my nipple, then the other. He is twisting and pulling them and it hurts. My breasts were always so tender and the pain gave me focus. It brings me back to Donna.
Donna is starting to get used to the painfrom the assault on my nipples, when suddenly he is slapping our beasts back and forth. It is a brand new sensing of pain. Donna is now bawling like a baby. She is a weak, petty, and mean person inside. But Donna was proud – and she never cried. Now she is crying… I am bawling. I deserve it.
He suddenly stops… will he kill me now? But, I feel his penis against my bottom. I am scared of this, but I want it to happen too. He is pushing and he is big. He forces himself inside me to quickly. It hurts and is pleasant at the same time. I am wet and slick and he is pounding away at me. I feel so excited – I am suddenly feeling tingly though my whole body and I am surprised as he slaps my butt cheats hard, again and again. It is too much. I know the stranger is cumming and I am suddenly orgasming. It is intense – I have never had one like it. I can’t breathe and then I am moaning like a whore. He stays in me.
I am ashamed and excited. My body trembles and there isa mad swirl of thought and emotion in my added mind. I feel so attracted to this man and I want him to do it to me again. Donna will tell him how to do it right and he will act hurt and surprised like every man I have known.
Then Donna will laugh in his face!
He is growing hard again and I open my mouth to tell him what Donna wants – suddenly he is rubbing and pushing it against my butt.
No! Off limits! Donna does not do that! I am suddenly suddenly frightened again!
“No, no, no! Please no! Not there! I will suck you or whatever you want!” I try to bargain with him as I clnch and try to keep him out. He grunts and pushes against me and I can’t stop him. It hurts and burns and I feel like I am being ripped in two. I scream in pure pain as he gets into me. He keeps pushing and I suddenly realize that he is going to rip my rear out completely if I don’t stop fighting. OUCH! It hurts inside my guts! I am cramping as the man begins fucking me. My rear burns bad from the friction as he rips Donna’s control away.
I scream and try to pull away but I can’t and he keeps going and going. Doesn’t he care that it hurts me so bad? NO! Donna deserves it! I feel the last shred of Donna breaking and I don’t care. I am crying and hurt. I am trapped and lost and I don’t know who I am. Donna is just a mean brat of a child. She cries and blubbers and I am her.
Why, Daddy? Why are you hurting us? I am becoming lost in this world of misery. I cannot stop bawling..
I feel a hand lift my chin gently.
Daddy?
The handsome stranger is looking in my eyes – no -my soul. Donna’s broken heart skips a beat.
“I do these things to you because I like you. I do these things to you because you deserve it.” He says. It burns to the bottom of my soul. It is the truth.
“I know, sir,” we answer and then my soul crumbles and I feel the tears start again. Donna cannot control themor me ever again.
He wipes my tears and my runny nose gently as Donna cries. He strokes my cheek and my hair as Donna pours more of her pain – our pain – out. The man is gentle and still strong. I want to hold him and be held, but I am tied securely. I feel myself calming at his touch.
“Thank you, sir. This is the first time I have cried in years. I think I needed it…thank you for petting my cheek and hair.” He nods at me, silent and strong, amused by this weak thing.
I need Daddy to make it right again, Donna pleads with me.
I feel a lump in my throat and I cannot stop the flood of emotion again. “It’s not fair!” I moan in our misery. “The only man to comfort me ever had to kidnap me and rap me first…” And Then I am gone. I am lost in a haze of tears and pain and the unfairness of it all. I feel him carrying me, but I don’t care. I am bound and I am going to die now.
Please take our pain away..
I realize He is holding me and I am crying and crying. I cannot stop, I don’t want to stop. Donna comes back. We are being held in the man’s strong arms. His chest is hard and firm. We can feel his muscles. Donna likes this feeling. Funny, she always hated it when someone wanted to ‘snuggle’.
Donna presses into him as tightly as she can and listens to his heart thumbing radically. His smell and the steady beat intotoxicating. She thinks for a long time. I think about Donna. I want her and I to be me. Donna can be a better person. I want to know this man, but he said he is going to kill me. I must convince him not to. The thought began burning in my mind, desperate and scared.
Donna can talk him out of killing us..
“I like the sound of your heart sir. I have never just listened to a man’s heart. Please sir, what is your name?”
“You can call me Master or Sir as needed.” Donna is silent. I suddenly don’t know how to steer the conversation so I blur it out.
“Yes, Sir. Please…Master, What are you going to do to me now? I… please… I don’t want to die… not now…” I swallow hard to try to stop the butterflies.
“I have not decided yet. You didn’t seem so worried about dying before. Why have you changed your mind?”
“I thought that I didn’t care, Master.” I put my head on his chest. “I have been… lonely… alone for a long time. No connections… or…love. Are you lonely, too?” I looked up at him. His eyes flashed hot with anger. Oh no! I feel afraid again. I close my eyes and try to cuddle with him so he understands.
Donna has no power anymore…
“Please Master, forgive me…” I whisper cowering in his lap. I am trembling. I feel him take a deep breath and he strokes my hair. “I mean nothing, Sir – I was just curious…”
He holds me a long time in our shared silence.
“Yes,” he says softly. “I am lonely sometimes.” My heart leaps.
“Can I stay with you?”
“I am notplanning on giving you a choice. All of my guests make the wrong choice anyway.”
I cuddle against him. I feel hopeful, but I am also worried.
There have been others; girls who were too weak to satisfy him. Girls that are now gone… like Donna wanted to be.
I took a breath, knowing that my next words could be my last.
“Sir, I understand that I am not your first…guest – and I don’t care what happened to the others. But, if you would allow me, I would like to be the last girl you need to ever capture again. I will obey and suffer and be anything you want me to be…”
“Why?” Donna doesn’t have an answer. We try…
“I… it’s because how You are holding me, Master, and how You are talking to me. I am your prisoner and You have hurt me, but still You are holding me. I like this and I think I like you.” I smile at Him using Donna’s best feminine wiles.
He looks away seeming thoughtful and uncertain.
“Master?” Donna pushes our sudden ‘advantage’.
“Yes?”
“I am sorry for causing Sir any trouble…”
“Trouble?” He seems more uncertain.
“Yes Sir. I know that I am not reacting like your other guests… Master is trying to decide how to handle and even train me, isn’t he?” He looks at me hard. I feel his eyes again and cannot look away. He looks away after a moment. And then carefully unlocks my wrists from behind my back. He locks them in front of me, but I am grateful. My arms were starting to hurt.
Suddenly he stands and carries me to the middle of the room. He puts me on my feet and points to a spot on the floor. I understand I am to stand there. I hear an electric motor behind me and then he lifts my arms and connects my wrist cuffs to a hook hanging from a cable over me. The motor runs and my wrists are lifted. It pulls on me until I am barely on the balls of my feet. I can see some of his toys on shelves and wall hooks. We are frightened all over again.
“Sir?” I ask, hoping that he will tell me what he will do with us.
The motor runs again and I am on the tips of my toes. My shoulders and body are stretched tightly.
“Silence.” He puts a blindfold on me. I cannot see anything. Donna is – we are terrified. Surely he is about to kill us. My heart is sinking. We want to scream but we are afraid to… His hands gently cares my sides and cup my butt. It feels good and Donna make a noise.
There is a loud ‘crack’ and a sharp pain cuts thru my back just above my butt. I am sure I must have squealed. I am off balance. I struggle to get on my toes when suddenly it hits again, this time across my buttocks. I gasp in pain and mindless fear. The hits keep coming, I don’t know when or where. It hurts terribly and I am unable to think about anything but the next strike. I am bawling again and my shoulders hurt as I swing and hang from my arms. I want to beg him to stop – and then suddenly he hits me across the tummy.
Please no, Daddy!!
My breasts are next, and I scream in shock and pain. I cannot stand it! HE strikes me over and over, tummy and beasts. It burns and stings so badly. It takes my breath away and I am gasping. I cannot find Donna. I am overwhelmed by the terror and pain of the beating.
Then just as suddenly it stops. I feel his warm breath on my ear as he speaks softly into my ear.
“You are a stupid cunt so I am whipping you for your own good. You have tried to manipulate me and that is dishonest. I will have your honesty and obedience. Fail to meet my expectations and each punishment will be harsher than the one before it.”
I cannot find Donna. She is gone, there is only me and I am Donna… I am bawling, so small and lost… where is she?
Daddy, please hold me…I am so scared..
“Yess, Master… I am so sorry… forgive me…” I am still bawling like the baby I am. He is lowering my wrists. Itry to find him in the dark of the blindfold. I can barely stand. “Please Master, hold me…” I am desperate. His strong arms wrap around me as I tremble.
“You’re not responding right – What the fuck is wrong with you? Tell me why I shouldn’t just toughle you right now?!”
“I am sorry Master!” I am still bawling. I lift my head so he easily crush my throat and end my suffering.
“Do you think you can gain favor with these manipulations and strategies!”
I am so filled with shame and I am so lost… I am out of control and I cannot stop myself from babbling.
“I do not sir! Please do what you want with me! I won’t fight you! Please just love me!”
There Daddy, I have said it! Did you hear it Daddy! Please love me and forgive me!
I am suddenly so weak that I cannot stand. He is hauling me somewhere as I cry. He throws me onto a bed and I know he wants to rape me again while I am broken and crushed. Donna is gone and cannot help me. I throw my legs apart to let him have me. I ignore the pain from my ass and grab the metal bars of the headboard. I feel him sit down next to me.
Please…no..
Daddy has destroyed me and I know he hates me. He is going to treat me like I deserve to be treated. I am trash to be used and disclosed. I am not worthy of His love
After a bit I feel his hands on my body. His fingers are softly touching the places that he struck me. His fingertips are cool and comforting. After a while he touches me ‘there”…it feels good and I try to spread my legs even wider.
Oh please finish me…
I hear his keys jingle and he unhooks my right hand. My left is now chained to the bed. I don’t mind. I am not crying anymore. He is touching me in ways I do not deserve. I am affected by it like no one else’s touch ever before. He leans over and looks in my eyes and soul again. He looks at me for a long time and then a strange half smile comes on as he bends down and kisses me. I didn’t expect it. I am melting in his hands…
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