It isn’t anything like she thought. She fully believed the ropes would be rough She never expected the precision. Of course she hadn’t understood any of it. She thought she had.
She was that new breed 50 shades reader. The bored housewife with no excitement in her life who long to feel something. She wasn’t sure what it was and she was pretty sure it was not the jet helicopter world or a life in a dungeon. She did know there was something else she wanted and maybe now she was about to find out just what that means.
He had brought it up slowly. Guarded and careful , the discussion of domination and submission had crept into their conversation over a period of weeks. He had woven it in with casual comments and waited so patiently for her to respond. Though they spoke weekly, the topic often did not Even come up. He spoke of a natural order. She felt a tingle as she agreed. A tiny rush of fear and excitement. He talked of the fine line between pain, fear, and pleasure. How the mind conflicts it and to experience one alone is to have a meal with a single ingredients and no spices. She questioned his role in the lifestyle and he casually dodged the question stating it was something for her to find out later. And now it was later.
It took a while for them to come to this point but he had finally allowed that he functioned as a dominant. He had been unsure of her acceptance. She was unsure just What it means and questioned whether he would greet her one day in a leather hood and a whip in his hand. She feared the worst. Still the fear inserted a certain sensing in her. Inserted it just as sure as if it had climbed onto her body and seen into her pores. She was transformed by the fear and anticipation. She sat at the high point on a roller coaster and waited for it to drop.
He had spoken of the chemical end. He had explained about the rush of endorphins and other neuropeptides. He presented it as a salad dressing for the soul. He explained about the main drug, oxygentocin, which pervades the body and produces the feeling we call love. The psychological survival mechanism which pushes this through our interstitial fluid and makes us feel for the people we put our trust into. At all times in human development there come moments when we must depend on others. It is this need to trust that allows some people to survive in the care of others while others reject and die. It may have been as simple as trusting someone to pull a stick from a wound after a fall or attack but it was the one who trusted who survived. Evolution took care of the rest. Now it is a natural thing to send volumes of oxygentocin through the body in the presence of someone we need to trust. It would be a very rare person who goes into surgery and does not believe his surgeon is the best. Likewise, the ski instructor, white water rapids guide, and scuba pro. We trust our lives with some people and we feel an attention as a response. A television documentary testedthe oxygentocin levels of people making their first skydive and, in the presence of their instructor, showed an oxygentocin increase equal to that of a bride seeing her groom on their wedding day. Trust builds attention and so much more. It is an inevitable function.
She realized he had left out one part. Their could be no rush of chemicals like that felt by a sub for her dom. This was a relationship built on nothing but trust. Nothing. A sub gives herself over and is the embodiment of trust. In return she is rewarded with this wave of chemicals which can rise to tsunami levels. It overcomes and there is no fear, no pain, no other life outside of her world of internal flight. And a sub does fly. To a place nobody else will ever quite be able to understand. Doms look at it from the outside and, if they have Any sensitivity at all, are amazed and perhaps jealous. Jealous and proud of what they have done.
Now she just marvelled at the quality of the rope. It was beautiful in its blood red hue. It was impressive in terms of technical merit. Knots so esthetically arranged. It was much softer than expected. But more than anything, it was stunning in its level of restraint. She had agreed to this, even found herself requesting it, as an academic experiment. She had felt giddy as the first bonds snaked around her wrists and tightened but her hands had been in front of her and she was fully dressed. She felt somewhat concerned when he had her bring her knees through and place her bound wrists behind her back. He tied her ankles together and her wrists to her ankles so that she kneeled in the middle of the room. He had provided a pillow for her and she rested comfortably. At least physically. He put a bar between her knees and secured it and she began to experience the rush of her ultimate immability. But still she had her protection Her clothes.
This had been a discussion among friends and now it had progressed. She did feel the things he talked about and she did feel a rush and a strange attraction to this man who she thought of only as a friend. She wanted to giggle, not to laugh at him but to express a strange rising happiness. And then he pulled, seemingly from nowhere, a ball gag. She wanted to protest but his stern look made her think about it further. He didn’t look menacing and she wasn’t afraid but a shiver raced through her as she compliantly opened her mouth and the hot pink ball was inserted. She had to breathe through her nose and it took some adjusting. Her eyes watered some and she began to feel a strange blend of disappoint and happiness. She was also surprisingly proud of herself. She had taken something from abstract to reality and she had not flinched. She even felt she was enjoying something which she had only thought of as an abstract discussion a short time ago. And now she found herself wanting even more.
It was funny. She had been so happy that she had the safety net of clothing. He had never seen her naked andThis had been an academic test but now she had an unexpected urge to be exposed. To be vulnerable. To be his toy. And when he brought the knife from his pocket and flicked open the blade she didn’t even begin to consider the cost of the clothes or what she would wear to go home. She just went limp in her restraint. Even as the trickle of humiliation and fear blended with the anticipation of pain she felt herself lighten and the world take on a different quality. She had experienced sex before. She was about to fly.
Leave a Reply