Restraint

This burning hunger for Him won’t quit. After Hours of having Him with me, over me, inside me…… my body is sore, used, spent, and i still crave more. i haven’t ever felt like this. This crazy driving need, i can hardly concentrate on the rest of the world. i found myself waking up in traffic on the way back home today, and wondering where all the miles went. i think i am utterly destroyed for any other kind of relationship. i could never want anything else but His touch, His words, His guidance and discipline.

He shacked me last night. i want so desperately to hang onto this experience. i keep replaying it in my head. It fills my soul.

………….

Last night-

The waiting is ago; i keep my cell phone next to me as i take to kneeing at the door. i can feel the air on my skin and it give me goose bumps to be there, naked except for my stockings and collar. i like the stockings… they have become the symbol of my preparation for Him, i get wet just putting them on. Usually by the time He arrives i’m in such a state i can hardly stand it. i’m on my knees rehearsing what i need to say when He drives up. My heart pounds with anticipation hoping I don’t just turn to mush and forget what words and language are completely, and turn into a babbling idiot. i value eloquence, but somehow i can’t seem to hold any composition around Him. i love greeting Him, it sets a pretense for who W/we are and O/our roles, and leaves no room for my shyness to come out. It brings me a great joy to be permitted to offer myself this way.

The doorbell, and i jump from being focused on what to say. i sometimes can hardly get the words out, and i’m usually too quiet for Him to hear the first time, so i repeat myself louder, which always sounds much too forced to my own ears. Sometimes i practice saying it out loud, to work on my reflection.

“Please come in Master. Your slave is ready to serve You.”

Oh crap. The door is locked. i die of embarrassment. i’m watching my friend’s house, and i have been using the garage, so i gave no thought to the door being locked. i am once again grateful that W/we both have a sense of humor.

Unlocking it and anxious back to my place, i notice He has that blessed black bag *wicked grin* and some sort of metal hardware which doesn’t make any sense to me, i let my imagination give a guess and tuck it away, not to ponder till Now, since they never got used. He kisses my forehead, and i feel my senses melt into His ownership.

i’m working on being patient with myself in taking off His shoes and socks… sometimes this is the hardest thing…but the reward is to place my lips on the tops of His feet, which i am honored to do, showing that i know my place as His slave and that i wish to respect and honor Him. i rest my head against His thigh, grateful for His presence, usually i get to kiss the front of His pants, but tonight he lets me kiss Him directly. “Just kisses.” i’m reminded gently, as it would be easy to get overly eager to pleasure Him with my mouth at this point. i attempt gingerness and reverence, and still manage to get a little more exuberant over this than i think is intended. Then His hands are at the sides of my head, and i am instantly calmed.. held captive and so grateful for my bonds. Kissing His palms, i say what i need to say out of the order i have it in my head, but it’s only a small mistake.

” i am grateful for Your discipline, time, care and training.” Please do with me as You wish. i am utterly, completely Yours.

i am let to stand, and told to fetch the bowel and towels i had gotten out earlier in the day. He has me lay down on the floor, and spread my legs. A few soft cares and then he wants me to touch myself. “but don’t make yourself cum.” As if i think i could bring myself to orgasm in front of Him like that, i’m oddly grateful for this request. Do i like Him watching me touch myself? Yeah. Huge turn on, i squirm in spite of the shyness i feel, and try not to show my reservations.

The blindfold is interesting, i sometimes like to close my eyes and just feel Him, but having the option to open them take away, all i long for is His face. At the same time, it gives my other senses a heighten awareness, i strain to know where His is, what He’s doing, i hear the rustling of bags and zippers, and then my hands tied to my tights. Now i can’t stop Him even if i wanted to. This is absolute trust.

It feels so good. i love being restrained, it opens my heart. i coo softly in appreciation. Fighting back nervousness, there is a long excruciating silence. i feel him above me, and then His voice tells me i can lick his cock, i start to reach out not quite sure where i am, then finding it and eagerly devouring all i can. He lets me lick His asshole too, which is really actually kinda cool. i didn’t think it would be, but it’s almost as good as pussy. Well actually it’s better, because it’s His. (Blinking inutter disbelief as i type that. Did i just admit to liking kissing a Man’s ass over eating pussy? lol.)

“How do you feel little girl?” Great, fine, wonderful, horny as hell.. How do i respond to that? i feel so many things at once it’s too overwhelming to find words for. i sum it up as “good”, and then wonder why i did that… surely i could come up with something better than that. i want to please Him so much it hurts.

“Who’s pussy is that?” Oh god, it’s so Your’s take me now.

“And who has the right to touch My property slave?” Only You please, right now….

“Do You think I have the right to have my slaves bare if I want them to be?” Holy mother of God, shake my head if it brings You pleasure, it all belongs to You. i think i start to shake quite uncontrollable at this point, and don’t really stop until a few hours after He’s left.

“Yes Sir.”

“I like my little girl bare, it makes you look more innocent, younger, morelike my daughter that you are.” Oh Daddy, please, please, please, please, please, please…..

i hear the buzz of a razor, and tense, then relax as it feels so gentle on my skin, rather like a vibrator than something with teeth. It’s Soothing, and i like the attention i’m having paid to my most intimate parts. i am able to relax until i hear the foam… foam means blades. i really consider asking if this is really necessary, a little trim is nice right? The hair is there for a reason. Right? i bite my tongue and hold my breath, and let it go, trust. Remember my place, i’m His. He is taking care of me. In fact i am terribly grateful i didn’t have to go someplace and have some stranger waxing me down there… that seems so wrong somehow.

When it’s over i feel Him touching me. The feeling is intense; i can tell it’s smooth as He runs His hands over me. This feeling is exhaust. i feel the warmth of his body over me now, and the end of His manhood starting to brush against me. Oh. i can feelEverything. i reveal in the sweetness of His touch. i can’t stop myself from coming several times without His permission, which He assures me i shall pay dearly for later.

i forget any of this has even happened as i get lost in Him making love to me for hours afterwards, claiming me again and again as His slave and little girl.

i find myself finally getting to look at it later, so soft and pretty, it will be hard not to want to touch it all the time. Hopefully i can show some…. Restraint.