Baroness Von Higgenpoof was a shrew. There was simply no other way to describe her. It seemed that her favorite pasttime was screaming at whoever happened to be nearby. She screamed at the butler when her lunch was late. She screamed at the maid if the floors weren’t spotless. She even screamed at her husband for apparently no particular reason at all.
Matilda Von Higgenpoof was 47 years old. She had married the Baron when she was 23. Matilda had expected to be a duess by now. Certainly, she should at least be countess. Instead, that lazy no good husband of hers had remained a baron. He had no ambition at all. In fact, he had the nervous to tell her she should relax and enjoy her station in life. Well!! That might be good enough for a lazy bum like Frederick, but Matilida Muffinpuffin had not been born into this world to be satisfied with being a mere baroness. The baron had married well over his station when she had agreed to be his wife. He was obligated to prove himself worthy of her.
As Matilda considered the worthlessness of her husband, she stopped to scream at the young lad cleaning the windows. The stupid oaf was leaving streaks!! The boy tried to explain that he would be sure they were gone by the time he finished, but the baroness just told him to shut up and get back to work. Then Matilda trundled off to her reading.
Trundling was Matilda best form of transportation now. When she was younger, Matilda would have been described as curvy or perhaps zoftig. Now she was just big. Her bosom was still large and impressive, but considering the size of the rest of her, it wasn’t nearly as attractive as it had once been. She had grown rather thick in the waist, and now only the most sturdy of chairs would hold her incredibly rotund bottom. All in all Matilda Von Higgenpoof had become a thoroughly unpleasant woman.
Frederick Von Higgenpoof was really a simple man. Through some twist of fate he had been born a baron, but he never really thught of himself as nobility. He would much rather be found singing with the townspeople at the local festhaus, then hanging around the fawning sycophants at court. In fact, if it wasn’t for his wife, he probably would never be seen at court again. But Matilda wouldn’t hear of it. She had to have all the trappings of nobility, and frankly it was just easier to let her have her way then to argue about it. After all, Frederick didn’t spend much time at home anyway. His wife certainly didn’t miss his company and the lovely Lily Freebush was always glad to invite him in. In fact, after he stopped by the estate to change clothes, he didn’t expect to return home again for several days. None of his friends could understand why Frederick tolerated his wife’s behavior. Certainly the baron could have stopped it. Frederick was a huge man. He was well over 6 feet tall and strong as an ox. But his size notwithstanding, the baron just didn’t like unfortunateness. It was just easier to leave Matilda alone in her misery. She certainly was miserable. The baron knew this because Matilda reminded him how miserable their lives were every chance she got.
The baron entered his home. He heard his uncomfortable wife screaming at someone. He should investigate, but at the moment it wasn’t him, and Frederick wasn’t particularly eager to change that situation. Quickly he went up to his room and got a fresh change of clothes. Then he quietly lifted the trapdoor he had hidden in the floor under the rug. Frederick crept down the concealed staircase into his secret room. This was the only place he kept hidden from Matilda. Frederick had stored a great deal of gold in this room. It really wasn’t that he didn’t want Matilda to know about it. It was just that Matilda hated his drinking and carousing. Having this money hidden away means he just didn’t have to deal with her when he felt like going out. Frederick pocketed a small bag of gold coins and went back up the stairs. He quietly lowered the trapdoor and covered it back up with the rug. Finally, he left his home as quietly as he could and told with relief when he was back out the door. The best visits to his home were the ones where he never encountered his wife.
As Frederick left, it never crossed his mind that the screaming had stopped while he was down in the cellar. Matilda had come up the stairs while he was down in his secret room. The baroness was going to tell her husband what a clumsy oaf her new service was. The man had actually fallen while carrying out her breakfast dishes. The plates had broken and the fool had slashed his arm on one of the shards. Not only were the plates expensive, but the wretch had left blood on her floor. Matilda was going to tell her husband to have the idiot thrashed. But when she entered his room, Matilda had seen the trapdoor and the hidden stairs. She had stopped and quietly waited in the shadows for the baron to leave.
After her dolt of a husband had left, Matilda had lifted the rug and found the trapdoor. She tried to lift it, but the thing was just too heavy. The baroness started to call for a service to help her, but then thought better of it. Who knew what treasures Frederick had hidden down below. If the servants knew about this room, they would certainly steal whatever was down there. So, Matilda went looking for something to open the door with.
After a few minutes of Searching, Matilda found a nice strong board. She carried it back to Frederick’s room and used it to pry up the trapdoor. It took all the strength she had, but Matilda managed to get the trap door lifted. She couldn’t swing it all the way over, but she managed to get it propped up with the board. The trapdoor wasn’t open enough for her to walk down the stairs, but there was enough room for her to slide under it and at least have a look at what was down there. Matilda got down onto her rather ample belly and slide the top of her body under the trapdoor.
The baroness couldn’t believe what she was seeing. There were at least 5 chests of gold coins. That bastard was hiding money from her. Imagine what she could do with that wealth at court. Instead, that stupid husband of hers was using it to simply have a good time. Well that would stop right now. With that, Matilda jumped up. Only she forget about the trapdoor directly over her head. Her head and back smoked into the raised door. It was too heavy to move much, but it did raise enough for the board propping it open to fall out. The door came crashing down and trapped Matilda under it. Matilda couldn’t move. Her whole upper body from the waist up was trapped under the door. She tried using her arms to push herself up, but the door was just too heavy. Matilda didn’t know what to do. She couldn’t get out herself, and If she screamed the servants would find her and they would know about the money hidden below.
Steven Schimdtlapp was the baron’s butler. He had been with the baron’s father and had stayd on when young Frederick inherited the estate. It had been a wonderful position until that shrew Matilda joined the household. After that, he had come close to quitting several times, but had stayed on out of loyalty to the family. However, this was too much. As butler, he was in charge of the servants. For madame to abuse that poor boy, and then instead of getting help for his damaged arm, to have actually yellowed at him for bleeding was intolerable. Baroness or not, Steven was going to have a word with his mistress. The good man was almost 70 now, and while he was physically still in excellent shape, he was also quite prepared to retire if the situation did not improve soon. Certainly it was not a service’s place to question nobility, but Mr. Schimdtlapp’s patience was wearing thin.
The butler had seen Matilda enter the baron’s personal quarters. Steven know about the secret hiding place of course. In fact he had been the one who had built it for Frederick’s father in the firstplace. However, Steven wasn’t prepared for what he saw when he entered the room. There was Matilda, or at least her bottom half. She was stuck under the trapdoor. Her legs were kicking and she was obviously straining, but she couldn’t possibly lift that door by herself. And of course the miserable woman wouldn’t call for help, she wouldn’t want the servants to know she had found Baron Higgenpoof’s hidden money.
Steven started to go over to help. As a service he was obligated to assist his mistress. But then something stopped him. That thoroughly unpleasant woman needed a lesson in humility. Steven would never get a better opportunity to supply the instruction.
Without making a sound, the butler crept over to the trapped woman. He lifted her skirt to her waist and tucked it under the door. Her petticoats quickly followed suit. Steven looked down and all he could see was that enormous behind covered in the biggest pair of bloomers he had ever seen. Well he had come this far,no point in stopping now. Steven quickly lowered the bloomers to the baroness’s knees. Now that huge bottom was barred. Steven walked over and picked up the board that Matilda had obviously used to prop the door open. He stepped back over to that enormous rump. Then Steven raised the board and took aim.
Matilda had been trapped under the door for about fifteen minutes when she thought she heard someone enter the room. She must have been mistaken, however, since the sound stopped. Then a minute or so later, the baroness feel her skirt going up. For a moment she thought that a breeze had simply blown it up, but then she felt the unmistakeable presence of hands lifting it up. Matilda kicked and strained but she couldn’t move. A moment later she felt her petticoats raised as well and knew that someone was up there staring at her knicker-clad bottom. Then, as if that wasn’t bad enough, whoever it was lowered her knickers. Her behind was completely naked to whoever was up there.
The baroness could’t imagine who it could be. Certainly it wouldn’t be the baron wanting his husbandly rights. Matilda had made it quite plain to him over three years ago that she was well done with THAT sort of activity. The baroness was still trying to figure out who had bared her bottom when BAM!! Something scratched into her rear end. Matilda let out a WHOOP! and kicked so hard the door actually moved a fraction of an inch. WHAT THE HELL HAD HAPPENED? Then SPLAT!! Her bottom was whacked again. This time Matilda let out a scream to wake the dead. SOMEONE WAS PADDLING HER ASS!!!. SPLAT!! Whatever it was landed again. The baroness screamed and shrieked but that thing kept laying into her butt. She kicked and squirmed but couldn’t move an inch. SPLAT!!!, BAM!!!, SPLAT!! Her bottom was whacked again and again. Matilda kept screaming and began to beg for whoever it was to please stop. Her bottom was on fire and she just couldn’t stand it. Then as suddenly as it had started it stopped. A moment later, the baroness felt a hand rubbing her behind. Someone was being very familiar with her, but at the moment she didn’t have any breath left to complain.
Steven had whacked that huge bum a dozen or more times. Lord it felt good. He was taking all his frustrations with the baroness out on that enormous behind. It certainly was turning an amazing shade of red. The good butler stopped for a moment to admire his handiwork. He even ran his hand over the surface of that bare behind. That entire gigantic rump felt hot. Well it was going to get even warmer in a moment. Steven smiled and raised the board again.
Matilda thanked God it was over. Now if she could just get this door off. SPLAT!!!. It had landed again. The baroness let out another shriek. Her bottom was being paddled again. WHACK!, SPLAT!, BAM! Again and again the board landed on that well padded rump. The barones shrieked and screamed. She cried and begged. But the thing kept smacking her behind.
Frederick had only gotten a little ways down the path, when he remembered that he had left his pocket watch in his room. He turned around and headed back home. As he entered his estate, he heard his wife screaming again. Of course she was always screaming. But as he walked upstairs, it sounded different. This was more of a distressed scream than an angry one. The baron continued upstairs and realized the screaming was coming from his room. That couldn’t be good. Frederick tiptoed to the door of his room and looked in. He couldn’t believe what he saw.
His faithful butler had a large flat board in his hand. He was using the board to paddle an enormous bare behind that was sticking out from under the trapdoor. That bottom had to belong to Matilda. It was too big to be anyone else’s. Frederick could hear the board shacking into that rump again and again. He could also hear Matilda’s shrinks each time it landed. Her legs were kicking for all they were worth, but Steven was off to the side and they really didn’t present any obstacle to the paddling he was administratoring.
Frederick watched a few more smacks land on his wife’s ample bottom. Then he did the only thing he could do under the situation. He decided he really didn’t need his watch after all.
Later that night at Fraulein Freebush’s home, the baron wondered how long Matilda’s paddling had continued. Steven was in excellent shape and he appeared to be having a very good time. Well it didn’t matter. He’d find out in a day or two. One thing he knew for sure. As long as Steven kept paddling, Matilda could keep screaming. All the servants knew that Matilda Von Higgenpoof could scream for hours on end, and Steven was likely to keep paddling that end for a very long time.
If Frederick had been home he would not have have been disappointed. Matilda had screamed almost steadily for two hours. Steven had scratched her bottom for a good thirty minutes. Then he had felt obligated to share. Two the servants had already had their turn and now the young man with the cut arm was picking up the board. Steven looked down at the huge behind. It was so red it was almost glowing. The old butler gave it a gentle pat and rub, mostly to feel the heat coming off the enormous thing. He almost felt sorry for it. That poor blistered bottom. He really would have felt sorry for the thing, if it wasn’t for who was attached to it.
Matilda lay crying under the door. Her behind was absolutely on fire. The paddling had stopped again. It had been about five minutes since that thing had landed on her ass. Maybe it was over and someone would help her out. Then it happened. That hand was back rubbing her bottom. It wasn’t the rubbing that bothered her, it was the fact that she knew what always followed the rubbing. The hand went away and the baroness began to scream Even before the board landed again.
Steven stood back and watched. It was almost as much fun to watch that huge behind wobble around every time it wasshacked, as it was to do the scacking. It was also amusing to hear each loud SMACK! followed by a high pitched shriek. Steven wasn’t sure how long the baroness could keep up the shrieking, or just how red that big round rump could get. But he was likely to find out. There were still four more servants who deserved a chance to paddle that thing.
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