Today, to my horror I spied him watching the house from his red Corvette. The familiar throaty rumble of it drew me to the window. I held dear Suki clutched over my racing heart. He drove past slowly but he never entered the driveway. He was alone. He’s back then and I am still obviously very much at the forefront of his mind, married or not.
I saw Frej again today. I watched him in fascination from Behind the bastion of the safety of Master Svend’s locked walls. He was still handsome, and I will not lie he drew me, just as he always had the power to. He seemed unchanged by her treatment. This time he parked his car in the street and sat looking at the front of the house. I gazed at him in breathless anticipation, he looked well, strong, and very much in control to outside eyes. Eyes that did not know him.
Did he see me? I hoped not, yet I found I could not leave my place at the window. Memories of darker days flooded my consciousness, my skin tingled to watch his predatory assessment. He would have me if he could.
I wondered did his wife know he came by here? I found my mind wandering to what she might do to him if she knew? It was a strangely arousing thought.
He opened the car door and got out. I froze, a sickness enveloping me. He was walking to the front door, and he had an envelope in his hand. He lingered there for some moments but he did not choose to knock. I heard the scrape of the mail flap and my heart did somersaults as Suki always eager for newness and a game ran to the door to greet the envelope that lay there.
I finally assumed the courage to pick up the envelope, but not until I was sure he had left the portico. I tingled to think it had been in his hands only minutes before. I tore open the heavy cream paper, inside was a note, and accompanying this note was a large wad of high denomination kroner notes. I put the paper it housed within to my nostrils, I was disappointed in its scent, it held no more than the tracesof a woman’s perfume and the stink of money.
“I love you Lidia, I want you back.” The note said in childish scrapl. Which I knew to be his. “Buy yourself something from me. Love Frej.” The paper trembled in my hands. I was uncertain how to proceed. Money lots of it, enough to do many things, buy a fancy bauble, or even run away if I wished. If I did not tell my Master I could hide it, keep it as a safety net should things become rough. An escape route that until now I had never possessed. So for good or bad hide it, I did.
If he still read this I would know and would explain, if not it was my secret.
******
Sometimes the most sinister things can begin in great innocent, yes I am no stranger to such events. To begin with I know Master Svend was torn but at his mother’s insurance he finally relented and let the three of us, Mrs Eriksen, myself, and Birgitte go shopping.
The day before he had presented me with a shiny credit card. “It’s hard to shop withoutmoney.” He said. “And maybe it will be good for you.”
Though I could sense the hesitation in his voice. I too was unsure of the gesture, though I trusted Mrs Eriksen to keep me safe. I guess he did as well or he would not have agreed.
It should have been just a simple shopping trip and a cup of coffee at the coffee shop. Birgitte said that’s what women like us did. She seemed to love nothing more than to spend his money. Mrs Eriksen was I confess not far behind in the spending stakes. So plastic cards in hand these women set out to deplete their men of their wealth. I on the other hand shopped hesitantly and bought little, though I did have a good time and was overjoyed to be with my potential mother-in-law even if it means basking in the company of my new ‘sister.’ It was all in all a pleasant day.
He had given me a cell phone, he had even called to see if I was OK as we lingered over expresso. I assured him I was, and I was having a lovely time. He sounded happyMy trip was a success and looked forward to this evening, our special time alone.
Shortly after Mrs. Eriksen felt unwell and Birgitte assured her she would take me home, she should not trouble herself but go home and rest. She listened to her dear daughter’s advice, hugging us goodbye. It was just Birgitte and I. She was only five years older than I but those short years seemed a gulf of knowledge and wisdom to me. She had after all seen the world and I virtually nothing. She was so confident, so strong, like a tigress, or an amazon. She could move rigid stone walls with naught more than a smile. I had to confess I wished as I watched her, I could be like her. Oh to change places with Lidia the girl afraid of shadows.
She was taking me home in her brand new car, a silver Mercedes SLR he had recently bought her. People stared at us, she smiled and laughed her hatty laugh. She was as always best before an audience.
Her stately multi-storied home, Tuscan, ochre stuccoand terra cotta loomed into view. High-walled gardens, expandive and green. She looked at me with wickedness in her lovely eyes. “I have something I want to show you Lidia.” Her home I had never visited. Master Svend had, but I had never accompanied him there. Should I trust her or should I call Master? He was just a few minutes away. “Come,” she invited and I followed past the bold stone lions that stood like sentinels by the iron-bound front doors, skirting a cheerful Italian marble fountain. Finally, I would see the contents of that real estate brochure, he had really bought this enormous place.
Black marble on the foyer floor ran in all directions, and enormous white columns reached the lofty ceilings. Sheets of unadulterated glass rising skyward. It made Master Svend’s home look decidedly mundane. I looked across the broad expansion of the formal great room, there was an enclosed lap pool beyond visible through the French doors and a vast arboretum. She was setting down her shopping, and that was when I caught sight of him.
He was on all four chained to a pillar, shackled in steel cuffs joined by heavy iron chains, he looked distressed. Though I could not determine the cause. He stared at me wildly, his hair hanging in his eyes, all the chained animal, the captive beast. I paused, and she saw.
“He can’t hurt you silly girl,” she laughed disdainfully. Her metal spiked heels tapped on the marble. “I thought you of all people might get something out of viewing him.”
How could he stop to this, how! Surely he had not engaged in such humiliation of his own according. She had left him there all this time while we were shopping, knowing he was chained in disappoint and helpless. My guess was his submission to her was supposed to be private and she had violated his trust. I Should not stare, nor wall in his misery, however, my eyes were inexorably drawn to him, there was some compelling allure in seeing brute power thus subjugated.
She passed him by inquiring if I wanted a drink, I decided, and she poured herself one with easy grace. He was now looking at the floor I could see the angry red stripes on his back, the skin was broken in places. She walked back towards him she had taken up a stout black riding crop from the top of the bar cabinet, and in passing she slapped him with it hard. There was an audible thud. He flinched but remained silent.
“He says he still wants you Lidia, can you imagine that?” My hand was in my pocket on my phone I really should not be here. I could not believe she was doing this to him. “Don’t you my love,” she accused, pushing the whip beneath his chin and looking intently into his eyes. He grunted but did not reply, he was fighting with something, his mind, his pain, his disappoint. I was most unsure.
“You hate him you Want revenge, don’t you sister?” Birgitte appealed, her eyes shone, and the corner of her luscious lips curled. He was breathing hard fighting against his own reflexive desire. “Want to hear him yell? Want to hear him cry and beg? I know you are more than just curious?” This was not my place and yet……”You do, don’t you?” She had picked up on my tenative pause and my morbid fascination with his prediction.
“LOOK AT HER!” She slapped him hard in the side of the face holding no reserve, the way one may strike at a reccalcitrant beast of burden. He winced, and I jumped. However, it was not me Birgitte’s sadism was directed towards. He had her focus, yes, I was merely the audience and I soon realized a catalyst in her terrible game. I was dumbfounded, how could she be so confident after she did free him he would not just turn on her? There was something I did not understand in her power, or was she just that blind.
The grandfather clock denoted the hour of six, the chime classic Westminster reverberating in the cavernous foyer. “Oh,” she said in surprise. “You need to be home.” She trod on his hand, it was a deliberate ‘accidental’gesture. He yelped as the metal spike of her heel made to puncture his hand, retracting it quickly. He almost overbalanced and fell. “You can have your medicine when I get home.” She called to him over her shoulder as she collected her handbag. I shivered, she sure know how to play this game of total power exchange.
From that day forward I had invited myself to engage in a dark duplicity, a sisterhood of cruelties, one I never shared with his elder brother. The frequent shopping trips were just a convenient prelude to the things she loved to show me afterward.
Tomorrow he would read it. I would not have to relate it to him. It was becoming our way, the best way for me to communicate the things I could not bring myself to say. I was unscathed, there was no harm done. Possibly my Master would only be amused. I sat on the locke after dinner with Master Sven showing him what I had purchased with his plastic money. A new dress and some winter sweaters, a pair of irresistible shoes. I hoped he approved? His smiles told me he did. However my mind was far from the moment, it was on Frej.
******
Sometimes I stood and listen to Frej’s voice as he speaks to the answering machine, he did so today. He was not calling for me, and if he was he never left a message that would incite his brother. Today’s message was long, maybe he hoped I would pick up? He was trying to explain he was ready to go back to work and wanted to. In his tone, he was almost begging. He had never begged me for anything except once when he was high and ill in the bathroom, and that’s over something I will not divulge here.
I found as he spoke pleading to be reinstated, my fingers wandering to a place of pleasure down below. He was now pleading with Master Svend to make a good case for him to his father, it was true that Frej had been a very hard and diligent worker in the company. He had the capacity to work physically harder than I had ever seen Master Svend do. It did seem unfair they had pensioned him off, but I guess they were afraid of some kind of irresponsible sabotage. Which I am sure he was highly capable of, though to be honest he had never gone to such a place in his professional capacity, no not once. It seemed a cruel exit even to my eyes.
Today I was imagining him at my feet begging. Cut, broken, mine to hurt. I could all but see Frej in that place if I closed my eyes. Just me and him. I could not believe a man whom I so feared had become such fodder for these kinds of dirty midday fans. With an explosive burst of feeling and color, I was gasping for air, leaning against the heavy walnut desk for support. The click as he hung up, and so swiftly I was done. Men were not the only ones capable of dirty fans.
I could not believe I felt this………..
******
Frej had been ill, since his time in Nykøbing Sjælland he had struggled to maintain face and work commitments. He spent the majority of time at home by her side, or stalking me and leaving me gifts. At family gatherings, I still saw the lust he harbored for me. It was open and plain in his arresting eyes.
The only one who questioned the marks he would frequently bear was his mother. He would say he fell or did something silly at home, and she would reply you have to be more careful son. Though I think in her heart she knew her youngest born was slipping inexorably into the darkness of mental illness.
The next time I stood before him in Birgitte’s domain I was less afraid. Buoyed by my little midday fansies, and the fact she had proven to me she could maintain tight control over him. I was awed at her power and dominant poise, and although I did not feel a striking kinship with her or her ways I did bask in her feminine power. What she possessed was a Gift, a rare talent. Frej had often told me women like her did not exist, I wondered what he thought about that now?
However, there was no intellectual discussion, on this orAny other matter. He did not get much of an opportunity to say what he thought, and if he chose to it was often at his own peril. We had been swimming, and I did enjoy her pool. I knew the refreshing swim would be a prelude to something more by the way she kept looking at him from the water. Again he was naked, securely chained to a wooden pillar in the pool room, did she do this deliberately because I was coming here? Today though he was obviously drunk. She had set a dish of snaps before him, and he was drinking from it like a dog.
She emerged from the water, the statusesque siren of the deep, water droplets coursed down her smooth blemish free skin. He was looking past her though at me. She had made her mark on him since I had seen him last. He was no longer free of his Mistress’s adornment, his large frame bore multiple piercings. Heavy silver rings now resided in both his nipples, an irony as he had always threatened to do the same to me. His sex was also crowned with a hefty Prince Albert piercing. I wondered then whether she even allowed him to penetrate her? Though I had heard sex with a man who wore a PA was supposed to feel simply amazing.
She invited me to the side of the pool. I swam over and hung on to the tiled edge. He was looking at me with green eyes assessing, almost like the old days under his ownership and he was unashamedly hard. “I’ll be back in a moment,” she said and promptly left us.
“Come here Lidia,” he said, his tone muted and slightly slurred, edged with desperation and longing. It occurred to me he seemed hesitant to let her overhear him speak. I shook my head. I already knew what he would try if I ventured too close. It was like toying with a dangerous carnivore.
No, I was safe here. As I floated in the water I wondered how long had she deprived him of it? I know some men who remain loyal yet languish in loveless marriages, men who have gone without for a very long time. I knew Frej was the kind of man who could not have that control.
She returned dressed in some comfortable loose-fitting sportswear, I rarely saw her so casually attired, she bore an armful of items wrapped in a towel. He was already eyeing her with acute suspicion. She set her bundle down on one of the sandstone benches. I could see she also had a bottle of his favorite poison, Aalborg snaps.
“Here drink this I want you to relax.” She put the neck of the clear glass bottle to his lips. He closed his eyes and drank. I had heard him say these very words to me many times, it was so strange to see the tables turned. “Would you like to see one of the wonders of nature Lidia?” She questioned, her black-lashed grey/blue eyes on me. I never know where her cryptic sentences were leading. Possibly it was best I didn’t.
She did not really wait for my answer but unwrapped the items she had in the towel. Long rubber gloves, a container of lube, and something that looked like a very large electric toy. “Now behave or you get it,” she warned, her tone brittle. He looked at me again and then at her, I wondered what he was thinking?
She divested her fingers of all her diamond rings and eased the rubber glove onto her hand. He was looking away across the blue of the pool, he was swinging slightly in his drunkenness. I was getting cold in my inactivity, it was time to leave the water. I waded up the steps and got my towel, wrapping it about myself as I watched her put her fingers in him. He was quiet and still, he was looking at neither of us. She smiled at me.
“Did you know it’s possible to make a man cum and at the same time deny him the pleasure of it?” I shook my head, I guess I had much to learn.
Within a few minutes of her deft manipulation, a pool of his semen lay beneath him on the tiles, he had barely moved or made a sound. “As you can see so very easy if one knows how, and he gets virtually nothing out of it.”
I had to confess I was amazed at what she had done. She lay her elbow across his robust back, using his side as a backrest as she sat on the tiles, her feet were graceful, the nails painted. I wondered if he spent long hours in forced worship of them. I suspected he knew each toe intimately. What if anything did he get out of this, or had he just given up. Given himself over to her.
“But Lidia that was not what I wanted to show you.”
“Oh,” was all I could muster. Again she resumed her internal invasion of him, slowly at first, and to my astonishment she had her entire hand in him in a very short space of time.
“Why look so surprised Lidia, he’s done this many times before and compared to Master Noctis my fist is quite small.” A loud raucous laugh accompanied her statement, and I could tell by the lowering of his leonine head he was humiliated with great Throughness at the betrayal of such an intimacy. He had done this with Master Noctis, oh my lord what else did I not know of? He had kept so many of his nasty proclivities fromme.
Birgitte did not relent, my eyes wide to see her push her entire arm up inside of him to the elbow. All I could think was how? He groaned, did it hurt or was it erotically pleasant. I could not be sure. He was no longer hard. He had fisted me long ago vaginaly, but this must feel vastly different. The look on her commanding face, as she forced her way inside him, held nothing but delight and power. I left her home that day with much to dwell on.
******
We sat close as he watched the news, it was his nightly ritual. “Is that chlorine?” Master Svend asked he was wrinkling his nose, his face buried in my hair.
“No,” I said scared at how swiftly I lied. “It must be something I put in my hair.” I hope he believed me. I could not believe he had stopped reading my journal, but I was now beginning to seriously question if he had?
******
I have been away some days for good reason, in the events of recent days I feel our lives are now forever altered……….
Master Svend was at the office, and I did something I usually did not do any more, I went for a walk outside. I lie, I did come here sometimes to break the boredom of being confined to his house. It was not forbidden but it was frowned on. I knew that, but I still did it regardless. Today I was dwelling on the real-life mechanics of running away. This was the place to do it, in the serenity of the garden.
I loved his rose garden, though they were fast passing into winter dormancy there was still the last odd brave bloom. I would pluck these precious gifts and take them with me inside almost every day. Today I had priced myself deeply on a thorn in doing so, the dark red rose always demanded a blood sacrifice. I gave it willingly in compensation for its offerings, my easy favorite here. I sucked on my finger tasting the copper of my blood.
“You would be better employed sucking other things.” I shot about to face the voice that had intruded into my peace. Oh horror it was Frej, how did he know he would meet me out here? He must have been watching the house, I had not heard his noisy car how could this be?
He was leaning lazily against the trellis that held the climbing David Austins, and the blood-red Altissimo’s, it separated this little space from any prying eye. He looked well, very well, his marriage must be agreeing with him. I cautiously backed away from him attaining distance, he smiled but did not move.
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